When Bums Go Numb

Is your bum numb?

The cane rotten?

Problems with your bottom falling asleep in the chair?

Employ the new "Knitter's Friend" bum awakener.

Step 1: Get up to go to the bathroom.
Step 2: Set socks down on chair.
Step 3: Return from bathroom.
Step 4: Forget sock is on chair and liberally plop bum onto DPNs.
Step 5: Attempt to extricate bum from DPNs while suppressing scream.
Step 6: Remind self never to let bum fall asleep again or use this
method.
Step 7: Continue to work on sock and laugh when knitter three rows down uses the "Knitter's Friend" method.

Note: The above mentioned method is free for your use one time only. All subsequent uses of the "Knitter's Friend" method will cause the incursion of a non-refundable trip to the emergency room. Results may vary.